Recently, a son or daughter began to fall more and more on lies. What to do with it? How to behave? And, most importantly, why does the child begin to lie?
Adult lie
To begin with, it is worth noting the fact that a lie is a part of our life. Every day, not only children, but also adults and more often and more confidently tell each other a lie. “Well, I’m very interested in listening to you ...” (on the phone, hiding a yawn), “such a stylish tie ....” (to the boss - the tyrant), "of course I’ll prepare a sandwich, it’s not difficult for me ..." (late at night before bedtime to her husband).
You can always find an explanation for your untruth. In order not to offend her husband, to please the boss, not to upset the interlocutor. This is a "lie for salvation." "Salvation" of respect, decency, prestige. This is the case with adults. So why is this behavior so outraged in children? There are also reasons for this.
Reasons why kids lie
Avoid punishment
Too harsh and strict education can lead to the fact that the child will try to avoid punishment at all costs. Lying in this case is one of the most affordable options. If you compare, which is better, get a belt or for a long time to look for the guilty for broken dishes? The answer is obvious. Therefore, let the punishment be the correction of the error: if you broke it — repair it yourself, broke it — clean up after yourself, did not learn it — until you correct it, you will not go for a walk.
A lot of prohibitions
More often it’s easier for an adult to say the word “impossible” than to explain patiently and for how long.Therefore, when everything is forbidden to the child, he begins to deceive. "Do not touch the dishes." Glass yes, but iron and wood can. You can’t tear books, but old newspapers can. There are many options, the main thing is to find an alternative and this will be quite suitable for the child. There should be bans, but only on what could harm him.
The desire to achieve new success
Stories about his superpower, about incredible opportunities are also an alarm. This means the child wants to achieve new successes, but so far he has not succeeded. You need to look at the abilities of the child or his needs. Perhaps there is a desire to learn to ride a bicycle, roller skating, but it does not work. Sincere interest, support, help - all that is needed in this situation.
Unreasonable expectations of parents can also provoke a child to a lie.
If a mother wants her daughter to become an excellent student, and the child has a penchant for drawing, and not everything works out well with mathematics. Then, parents should prepare for stories that all efforts in school are not appreciated or that someone is constantly interfering with answering the long-awaited five. It is necessary to develop talent and abilities in children, but only those that he himself has, and not those that adults want to see.
Self-justification
A typical situation, when tears appear in your eyes, the phrase sounds: “They first started” and after that a heartbreaking story about how a child was wronged, called namesake. The most difficult to deal with such a lie.Adults also often resort to it to justify their act. To prevent such behavior from becoming customary, it is necessary to discuss each situation and teach the child to draw conclusions on how to avoid this in the future.
What to do so that the child stops lying?
What to do? You can use the following pedagogical techniques: feedback (positive and negative) and a personal example. The first may include punishment, censure, suggestion, the second - praise, encouragement for the truth. Well, the most powerful example is personal example. You should not hope that the child will not cheat if adults do this themselves. And when my mother’s friend calls to chat, you don’t need to say “say that I’m not at home”. It’s best to explain the situation by saying that now there is no time and will call back as soon as he is free.
Now, when parents can determine the cause of children's lies, one thing remains: to analyze their behavior. And you should not forget that you need to start with yourself.
